Surprises
by TundrainAfrica
Summary: With all the stress piling up for the Japanese National Championship and more importantly, the World Championship One can expect an athlete to get injured. To have the coach be the one struck by a career ending injury during practice is another story. That's exactly how Victor surprised the crowd though, maybe for the last time
1. Prologue

**There is just not a lot of Hurt Victor fics out there... Unless you recommend some ;)**

A figure skating coach once said that a quad is one of the hardest figure stating moves to nail, requiring precision and timing even for the slightest movements. "The minute your left arm is behind you, or your three-turn is too fast, if your hips don't turn in time, if your foot isn't in the right place, anything will throw you off."

 _It doesn't seem to bother Victor that much though._ Yuri thought to himself as he watched Victor mechanically go through a new step sequence and end it with his signature quadruple flip. The Russian had started to prepare choreography for next year, where he planned to make a comeback and Yuri could see that he was deep in thought, probably finding another way to surprise the audience.

He drank some water from the jug and walked to the fountain to refill it, making sure to take his time. Victor had given him that 10 minute break to recover. Only a few minutes ago, Yuuri had decided to reskate both his short and free program with one major change, all his single jumps were quads except for his triple axel. Victor had also convinced Yuri to scrap his token quadruple toe loop and replace it with the quadruple salchow he had just mastered and the quadruple flip Victor had taught him.

He was exhausted but it was only 11am and he was sure, Victor had a lot more to teach him. As soon as he got back with a full jug of water, he saw that Victor had finished the step sequence and the program he was running through the choreography of and looked like he was warming up for another quad jump. He just landed a single lutz before going back to the serpentine step, circling once around the rink before doing the the double lutz, circling around the rink once more before doing the triple lutz and eventually the quadruple lutz.

"It's high time we added something else to your arsenal." Victor said as soon as he landed the lutz.

A part of Yuuri was actually nervous at the idea of having to attempt a quadruple lutz. When he had mimicked Victor's Stay Close to Me program, he had replaced the quadruple lutz with its triple counterpart. "Wait. You want me to attempt it now?"

"You landed the flip and the salchow cleanly already. This should be doable. Besides, you have much more stamina than I do."

"Doesn't mean I have the power for it."

Over the course of that season, Yuuri had gained much confidence in himself but even with that, he still felt his stomach knot up when Victor suggested he attempt the quadruple lutz.

"Let me tell you something," Victor closed in on Yuri and put one arm around him. "Back when I first started doing the lutz, I always used to tell myself that a lutz is basically just a flip, just on the wrong edge."

"Wait what."

"A lutz is basically a flip on the wrong edge." Victor repeated matter-of- factly.

"Yes because calculus is just algebra with moving numbers. Shogi is just checkers with more rules." At the moment, Yuuri realized how talent can actually make people bad at teaching. In simpler words, Victor was shit at pep talking and although yes, a lutz is actually a flip on the wrong edge. That 'wrong edge' is an added hip rotation which to Yuri always feels like he's doing an extra 1/2 rotation.

"Just relax. Do you need a harness?" Victor asked. The tone could have been mocking or it could have been genuine, Yuri was too busy playing back his own triple lutz and wondering where he was going to get the power for the extra rotation.

He sighed in defeat and started on the serpentine step, going through the fundamentals of his lutz before he took off. He had managed all four rotations in the air before he realized something was wrong.

He landed cleanly, looking to Victor who mouthed a word both men being figure skaters understood too well.

 _Flutz_

An elementary error for serious skaters. A Lutz and a Flip are two jumps with the same take off, the only difference being that a flip takes off with the more natural inside edge while the lutz takes off with the outside edge. At the last minute, Yuri had switched to his inside edge before taking off, technically doing a quadruple flip instead of the intended lutz. It is considered by most serious skaters an embarrassment and by judges in tournaments, a serious violation.

"Again." was all Victor said after.

It was his first time attempting the jump but Yuuri still couldn't help but feel the knot in his stomach only get heavier. Victor wasn't supposed to be disappointed in him. He snuck a glance at Victor as he prepared for the jump. The latter kept his face serious and stoic, a farcry from the loving face he would get after his performance, or when he would crack a joke or ask something random about Yuuri's childhood. During training, Victor meant business. The Japan Championships were in two weeks and if he wanted to qualify for the World Championships, he had to be, according to Victor, 'amazing'.

Victor was already amazing and if his own skill was already ordinary to him, Yuuri couldn't even imagine what Victor's idea of amazing was. So he decided to just follow VIctor during their trainings and hope that eventually he does reach VIctor's standard of amazing.

The past thirty minutes haven't been encouraging though. He had attempted the quadruple lutz four times already and they have all ended up as flutzes. Yuuri was starting to get impatient, more importantly, he was burning out. They had been training since early that morning and he had just attempted four quads in a row.

"Yuuri, you don't want to tire yourself out, let's work on your sequence instead. We can work on your quadruple lutz later. "

"No!" Yuuri snapped as he started on the serpentine sequence, which was to be the momentum of his next attempt. Yuuri was getting impatient, he was losing focus and for figure skaters, that was a very dangerous mindset, especially if they were attempting high impact quads.

The minute your left arm is behind you, or your three-turn is too fast, if your hips don't turn in time, if your foot isn't in the right place, anything will throw you off.

What threw Yuri off wasn't a wrong three turn, a wrong arm movement or a mistiming of a hip turn though. Yuuri was exhausted and impatient and voluntarily or involuntarily (too fast to tell), he had dropped his left foot, his legs uncrossing mid air.

"Yuuri!"

The extra movement and Victor's voice were more than enough to destroy his momentum.

Everything after that happened in slow motion. In those few seconds in the air, Yuri had already pictured the fall.

The quad is a high impact jump, and his left foot, in an awkward position, would be the only thing to catch him as he falls. He'd be lucky to walk out with just a badly sprained ankle.

Yuuri closed his eyes. _I'm sorry Victor. Even with your efforts, I only made it till the Grand Prix._

 **Do leave a review!**


	2. Crushed

_Crack!_

Yuuri braced himself for the pain that was soon to follow. _A broken bone? Or a sprained ankle?_ He thought to himself.

The pain never came though. Instead, something had wrapped around Yuuri before he fell and he had ended up landing on some cushion that smelled familiar, the all too familiar mix of deodorant, soap and perfume that could only be traced to...

 _Victor!_

Yuuri opened his eyes. No wonder it was so familiar, his head was pressed to Victor's chest and the thing that wrapped around him was Victor's arms. _Then that means that the crack was..._

Yuuri found himself trying to make sense of everything that happened the past few seconds. He was able to take off on the correct edge but half way through the rotations, he ended up lowering his foot which caused him to lose his balance. He heard Victor call his name. Panic caused him to flail mid air, trying to find the right way to land. He had felt his toe pick hit something soft, then a gasp of pain. He had felt his blade land on something soft. There was the crack and he felt the impact of the fall which brought him to where he was then.

 _Shit._ Yuuri almost regretted putting two and two together. If his recall was correct, he had just kicked Victor with his toe pick and he was sure the crack he heard wasn't the sound of ice cracking. "Victor! "

He heard a soft groan.

The voice was weak but at least Victor was responsive. Yuuri sat up, keeping his eyes trained in front of him. He wasn't ready to survey the damage. He maneuvered himself out of Victor's arms, carefully rolling to the side, making sure his blades weren't hitting anything as he moved. As soon as he was sure he was on the ice and Victor was a safe distance away, he stood up.

He focused on Victor's face, willing himself not to look at his legs. He didnt think he'd have the stomach to see what was there. Victor's eyes were wet with what looked like tears. He pressed a hand to Victor's cheek.

"Yuuri… Get help…" VIctor's eyes didn't open but the tears that slid down the side of his face where more than enough for Yuuri to realize that Victor was in massive pain.

He should have called for help as soon as he stood up. When Yuuri first stood up though, a part of him was praying that Victor would stand up soon after, probably scold him for attempting the quad exhausted and order him to start on his dance sequence. The crack could have been a simple shoulder crack, like the ones he got every time Minako would stretch him during dance classes. The gasp of pain could have easily been a gasp of surprise.

There was no use denying it though after seeing Victor's face, Yuuri had to call for help. _Victor said it himself._

His legs felt like jelly but still, he forced himself to glide on until he reached the entrance of the rink.

 _How many more steps until he reaches the counter, where Yuuko is probably polishing rental skates?_

Luckily he didn't have to count or trod on anymore. At that exact moment, Yuuko appeared from around the corner, holding a brown paperbag.

"I brought you guys some lun—" She was smiling when she saw him, but her smile quickly fell as soon as she saw Yuuri's face.

"Are you okay? Where's Victor?"

Yuuri only had enough strength to turn his head to the side of the rink. Yuuko followed his empty gaze.

"Oh my god…"

Yuuri's eyes followed the brown paper bag as it dropped to the floor and he silently watched as the contents spilled out. In the background he heard the footsteps of Yuuko getting farther.

"There's been an accident… No, even I'm not qualified for this kind of first aid… Takeshi, I'm going to have to call an ambulance. It's not Yuuri, it's Victor…"

Even just standing there became too much for him. He didn't even bother making his way to a nearby bench. He just sat on the floor and the tears that had been threatening to force their way out since a while ago had finally gotten what they wanted.

He didn't know exactly what the injury was. There were three things he was sure of though. Victor was in pain. The crack was not just a simple shoulder or back crack and Yuuko, who had trained in first aid before working at the rink, was incapable of treating the injury that she had to call an ambulance.

Yuuri was a teary mess by the third revelation.

 _How did a normal training day like this get so bad?_

 _ **SURPRISES**_

"Yuuri!"

Someone was slapping him awake. In his own panic, despair and guilt, Yuuri had managed to cry himself to unconsciousness.

Takeshi was in front of him, his hand resting on Yuuri's cheek. "They've taken Victor to Saga Medical Center Koseikan."

"Why not Hasetsu City Hospital?" Yuuri asked his voice almost a whisper. If he raised his voice or showed anymore emotion, he would either cry some more, or panic and he couldn't afford to do any of those then and there.

"They need to perform emergency surgery and the only doctors qualified to do it are on call in Saga Medical Center. We're going there right now."

"How bad is it?"

Takeshi lowered his gaze and looked away. "Are you sure you're ready to hear about it? We don't have to talk about it now."

"I was there when he got injured. He caught me when I lost my momentum midair. I deserve to know how bad it is."

 _I was the one who insisted I continue attempting the lutz while Victor had suggested I stopped. Victor was the one who warned me not to jump exhausted. I was stupid for disobeying him. I deserve the guilt._

"We'll tell you in the car."

Takeshi handed Yuuri's winter coat to him and helped him into the car. He sat in the back and watched Takeshi make his way to the driver's seat and Yuuko to the passenger's seat. The latter had just put her phone in the bag. "No need to worry about Lutz, Axel and Loop…"

Yuuri didn't catch the rest of the conversation, he leaned his head on the driver's seat and took a deep breath. He needed to calm down. He needed to relax.

 _Victor wasn't dying._

It couldn't change the fact though that this was the first time Yuuri had ever seen him so helpless. _Maybe that's why I'm panicking… It could be just a sprained ankle… They'll do some simple surgery, patch him up and he can go home. I'll maybe cook him dinner, to apologize for falling on him. Maybe I can cook some soba? He'll just need some R and R, no skating for a few days. But that's it. By the Japan World Championships, everything should be back to normal._

"Yuuri, I'm suggesting we get a bite to eat. They're taking Victor in for surgery and it's gonna take some time. There's no use waiting in the waiting room that long."

 _That's why it's called a waiting room. We wait there._ Yuuri wanted to argue but he was starting to feel the pain in his stomach already. He was exhausted and hungry. Instead he nodded.

They decided on a small restaurant at the side of the road, or more specifically, Yuuko had suggested it, Takeshi readily agreeing. Yuuri on the other hand, just silently complied to the wants of the couple, his mind too preoccupied by the accident.

"What will you be getting?"

Takeshi asked as he slid the menu to Yuuri. The latter half heartedly scanned the menu. "You guys order, I don't think I'd be able to decide."

"You've been training since early this morning. You need to eat. Lets get you the Katsudon Set…"

Once again, Yuuri's mind wandered. For once his eyes weren't on the menu or the katsudon pictures and promo posters, the only thing occupying his mind was the accident. He had been racking his brain since a while ago for a clearer memory of the accident, something that could possibly reassure him that Victor would be okay.

Yuuri noticed from his peripherals that Yuuko was bringing out her laptop, while talking to Takeshi. They were half way through a conversation which Yuuri didn't bother anymore to catch up to. That was until Yuuko made eye contact with him, gesturing for him to come to her side.

"We'll be giving this file to the doctors when we reach the hospital. The paramedics said it would help with the diagnosis. It's security cam footage." Yuuko explained as she clicked on the right date and time.

"You think you're ready to see it?" Takeshi asked. "It's not a pretty scene."

"More than ready." In truth, a part of Yuuri was nervous and hesitant. He could always wait until the hospital for news but his desire for answers outweighed all unsure feelings inside him. If he'd feel worse watching it, he understood that it was a punishment he had to accept.

Yuuko played the video. Yuuri watched as the video replayed the sequence Yuuri had watched while he was on a water break. The dance sequence Victor had gone for for the short program was slow yet smooth. The almost inhuman coordination and flexibility made it look like Victor was going to collapse at any moment and the only thing keeping him upright were the blades on his skates, comparable to a reed flowing in the wind.

"What song did he plan on skating to for the Russian National Championships?" Yuuko asked, her eyes glued to the screen.

"Victor was secretive about his plans for his comeback. He didn't even tell me the songs he'd be using. He just told me to focus on the National Championships, since his would be in February. Mine is in two weeks, early January. After that we were supposed to go to Saint Petersburg so he could train with Coach Yakov and we could prepare for Worlds, assuming we both got in." _That is, if this accident proves to be something superficial._ Yuuri thought. He knew that anything worse than a sprained ankle would have them rethink their plans and Yuuri didn't want to think about the emotional pain that would come with that rethinking.

In the video, Yuuri had just gotten into the rink. Victor was doing the lutzes one by one. Then Yuuri watched himself follow one by one, noting the sloppiness of the take off and the fact that it was a _flutz_. _No wonder Victor looked so disappointed._ Yuuri thought. The Yuuri in the video had skated back to Victor. He watched as the latter put his hands on his shoulders, trying to placate the frustrated Yuuri. At that point he had suggested they start on the dance sequence. Yuuri had brushed off all Victor's attempts at placating him and went to do one more lutz.

Yuuri could have chosen at that moment to look away but he had ended up too drawn to the screen to even consider the psychological torture of watching that video. It almost felt like the climax of a thriller TV show. He watched the sloppy take off. He had jumped higher than he expected and with that, sloppy take off, it could have been dangerous and Victor saw that.

The latter had rushed to Yuri and jumped, catching him midair. Yuuri saw the exact moment, his toe pick hit something soft. He had kicked Victor's shin with his toe pick as he was struggling mid air. He had pulled away from Victor, his body willing itself to complete the jump. That was what caused the more devastating injury.

From afar it looked Victor had succeeded at keeping Yuuri close to him and landing painfully on his back. It was only when someone looked closely at the position of their feet where they'd notice how Victor really got injured.

Yuuko noticed that and she rewinded to a few seconds ago, clicking on the slow motion button. "This might be pretty graphic. Yuuri?" She looked to Yuuri, her mouse hovering over the zoom button.

Yuuri just nodded.

She took a deep breath, zoomed in and pressed play.

Yuuri never felt so at fault in his life. The key movement was his instinctive twist away from Victor as the latter caught him mid air. After he had kicked Victor mid shin, his toe pick may have gotten caught on the fabric of his pants or the skin. The uncomfortable feeling of a toe pick digging through something which was not ice, caused him to pull away from Victor as they were suspended in the air. He had used the blade of his other foot to push Victor's shin away, untangling the toe pick from his leg. They were falling at that time and gravity was also doing its part. In the end Yuuri had ended up a combination of twisting, pushing, kicking and at the same time, stepping on Victor's midshin which may have crushed or even grinded the bones underneath. which consequently led to a very gruesome injury. Enough to make Yuuri tear up and run for the bathroom.

He threw up what little breakfast he'd eaten that morning and couldn't even eat any of the food they ordered. Yuuko and Takeshi called the waiter to have the rest of the food taken out when they saw Yuuri half heartedly playing with the Katsudon on his plate.

"We should go."

 **Surprises**

"You must be Katsuki-san, and you, Nishigori-san. Yoshino-sensei told me to take you straight to the office when you arrived."

They had gone straight to the reception. Halfway to the desk, the nurse had already recognized the two and was already leaving the desk, gesturing for the three to follow her.

She lead them through a series of corridors, before knocking on one door.

"Ah, Katsuki Yuuri. And you must be Nishigori Takeshi and Yuuko, the ones in charge of Ice Castle Hasetsu right? Where the training incident happened?"

The two nodded.

"You have the video of the accident…"

 _Where is Victor?_

That was the only thought on his mind as he entered the room. He had expected to find Victor there when the nurse had first knocked. Yuuri sat down next to Yuuko and Takeshi. He watched as the doctor connected the USB to the computer on the side and clicked the mouse a few times.

The TV to the side of the room came to life, a blue screen replacing the black screen of a while ago.

"Right now, he's in surgery. Just a simple debridement surgery, we're basically cleaning up the wound, collecting bone fragments and setting the leg, it should be done within thirty minutes to an hour. After that, we can discuss a definitive course of treatment."

"You can't fix everything already? He needs to recover fast. He's supposed to be competing in the Russian Nationals."

He looked to Yuuko and Takeshi for a moment before going back to the desktop and making a few more clicks on the mouse and another light switched on on the wall. He then, took out an envelope from under his desk. "There's something you need to know about Victor's injury."

"This is an x-ray of a simple hairline fracture." He placed the x-ray in front of the light, the outline of the bone becoming much clearer. Yuuri could see the crack Yoshino-sensei must have been talking about. "This injury is one of the mildest forms of fracture yet requires around a month for full recovery. Victor sustained an injury much much worse than this. I'm sorry to say the Russian nationals are out of the question."

Yuuri bit his lip and said nothing. He felt Takeshi's hand on his shoulder.

The doctor turned off the light, put away the x-ray and looked back at the screen. "I'll be showing you the video now. After, I'll be showing you the x-ray results radiology sent me just a few minutes ago..."

Yuuri had tried to focus as the doctor replayed the video and showed the xray right after. None of the information of that meeting in the office stuck with him. The only thing weighing on his mind was Victor. He wanted to see him again. After a few minutes, he gave up trying to comprehend the doctor's plans and theories and reminded himself to ask the doctor or maybe Yuuko or Takeshi tomorrow when he was in a better state of mind.

Yuuri could have sworn they'd been talking for an hour before his phone beeped and Yoshino-sensei said that Victor had been settled in a room.

 _I guess he won't be going home tonight._ Yuuri thought to himself as he followed the doctor through the corridor.

Yoshino sensei knocked on one of the doors. That was when it dawned on Yuuri that Victor could actually be mad at him.

 _I deserve to be slapped in the face for this. Let him slap me, let him hate me for this._

A nurse opened the door, said a few words to the doctor and led him inside the room.

The first thing Yuuri saw when he entered the room was the medieval-torture looking device that was keeping Victor's left leg straight and elevated. He couldn't even bite back the gasp that escaped his throat.

He decided to focus on the other details. They had removed Victor's leggings and tight fit shirt and replaced it with a green hospital gown. His right hand was pressed to his side and Yuuri could see the IV drip attached. His left hand rested on his stomach, another IV drip attached to that. His eyes were open but hazy. Victor looked so helpless, Yuuri couldn't help but tear up once again.

"Victor…"

He only realized he had said it allowed when the Russian seemed to become a bit more aware, his eyes widening.

"Yuuri…" To Yuuri's surprise, Victor's eyes had lit up when he said his name. Victor weakly tapped his right hand on his stomach and Yuuri understood it as Victor telling him to come nearer. "You look good. I was worried that you may have gotten injured too, so near nationals." Victor's Russian accent was seeping out, maybe an effect of exhaustion or drugs.

"I'm fine." Yuuri said as he pulled up a stool and sat by Victor's bed side. "You should be more worried about yourself, stupid." He placed a hand on the bed and watched as Victor's hand, weak and trembling slowly gripped his. No one would have believed that that uncoordinated hand that held his was the hand of the man who did the dance step sequence he had watched only a few hours ago.

 _That's the problem with accidents, they can destroy within seconds what people spent years buildings._

"Come nearer." Victor said weakly.

Yuuri almost believed that Victor was telling him to go nearer so he could slap him. He winced when Victor brought his hand in front of Yuuri. He felt the hand on the back of his head, gently pushing his head down on his chest and he understood why Victor did that almost immediately.

"You need to let it out."

Yuuri's eyes were wet with tears, and they were getting wetter by the second. "Victor, I'm sorry I didn't do what you told me to do. I'm sorry I was so stubborn."

Yuuri felt the cloth of Victor's hospital gown soaking up his tears. Victor though, continued to pat him on the back of the head and whisper other comforts.

The nurse, Yoshino sensei, Takeshi and Yuuko may have all been watching the scene unfold before him. Victor may be disgusted by the tears soaking the cloth. At that moment though, Yuuri was not aware.

He wasn't ready to think just yet. He needed to let everything out first.


	3. Diagnosis

**Thank you for the reviews.**

 **I don't have my YOI fanfics beta read. Anyway hope you like this!**

To his surprise, Yuuri didn't wake up to the alarm he had set. He had woken up much earlier. His place under the blanket had been slowly constricting him, becoming too warm and too tight and it was only when he woke up did he find out why.

Makkachin had made himself comfortable beside him.

It wasn't anything new. Makkachin always slept between him and Victor. This time though, the poodle seemed to be a lot more touchy.

 _Probably looking for Victor._ Yuuri put a comforting arm around the poodle. The latter was whimpering as if he sensed that something was wrong with his owner. Yuuri made a mental note to mention him to Victor later when he visits.

"Victor won't be going home for a few days." Yuuri said drowsily as he reached for his phone, and checked the time.

 _6:58._

He had set the alarm for seven but he was in no mood to train that morning.

 _I'm not in the best condition to train either._ Yuuri thought to himself as he turned off the alarm on his phone. He was sure he had slept a decent amount of hours that night. For some reason though, he still felt sleep deprived.

He lay in bed for a few minutes staring at the ceiling before turning to the other side. The familiar scent of Victor seemed to linger on the pillow. For a while, Yuuri wondered how long before his scent disappeared. The nurses that night had explained that Victor would be staying in the hospital for a few weeks and would be an outpatient for a few months after. A wave of sadness washed over Yuuri and he found himself mourning the loss of normalcy and longing for their life just a day ago when their biggest problem was preparing for the national championships. He rolled to the other side, trying to wipe off the scent from his nose and with it, the negative thoughts.

Makkachin must have sensed the unease in Yuuri. To comfort him, the poodle moved to the other side, wriggling himself between the pillow and Yuuri's arms. Yuuri closed his eyes and rested his head on his soft fur for a few minutes before reaching for his phone once again.

He must have slept for a while because when he checked his phone again, half an hour had already passed.

 _7:30._

Visiting hours start at nine. He could always run there to squeeze in some exercise into his routine.

Yuuri pushed himself up from the bed his plan set, only then did he notice the folded paper by his bedside. He remembered Yuuko handing it to him when they dropped him off at Yuutopia that night. Exhausted, he had set aside the paper, not bothering to ask who it was from.

He carefully opened it, putting it by the light. The messy scrawl was all too familiar. The handwriting clumsier than usual but still readable. Yuuri couldn't help but be a little amused.

Pumped with morphine, pain killers and sleeping drugs, Victor still managed to write out a training plan for him.

 _6am morning jog_

 _7am breakfast_

 _8am-10am practice dance steps_

 _10am-11am break_

 _11am-12pm_ _Lutz_

 _12pm-1pm lunch break._

 _1pm-3pm Gym_

Yuuri crumpled the paper and threw it out. Screw the plan. A part of him was actually pretty ticked off that Victor was acting like nothing happened _. You're in the hospital with a broken leg and a dreary prognosis, held together by a bunch of screws and bars._ He would've said if Victor was with him at that moment. Instead, he decided to be less vocal about it and more proactive. He crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash.

Beside the paper, he noticed the two rings. The nurse had given him Victor's ring along with his clothes since they had to take everything off when they brought him in for surgery. He had put the clothes in the hamper as soon as he got home, the ring, he had put by his bedside before he fell asleep.

Yuuri reached for both rings, putting them both on his ring finger. _Victor's probably missing it already._

He changed into sweats and mentally mapped out his route to the hospital. Going to Saga city, he usually took the train. Running the whole thing would take him hours. He decided to take the train until a nearer destination and from there, run the rest.

He played the song of his short program, Eros on his phone trying to get into rhythm before the run and give him something to picture, maybe, get some inspiration for new choreography. As he listened though, he remembered the first time Victor skated it to show Yuuri how it was done.

 _When will everyone be able to see Victor skate like that again?_ Halfway through the song, he had to change the music. It was getting too depressing.

By the time, he arrived at the hospital, the ear buds were only on his ears to block out sounds. He decided not to listen to music. Music meant choreography. Choreography meant Victor and after the events last night, the last thing he wanted to do was associate Victor with choreography and skating.

Although, last night was a blur to Yuuri. he was still pleasantly surprised to find out that he still remembered how to get to Victor's room. He counted out the rooms as he walked. As he got closer though, he realized he didn't need to look at the numbers or the names on the door. Hearing too many familiar voices from the other side of one closed door was enough of a guide for him.

"… I don't care, I can manage." Victor's voice was distinct and to Yuuri's relief was more controlled and alert than he expected.

"It's best you don't get your hopes up. The prognosis of these types of injuries are rarely good. I haven't had a patient who made it to preinjury condition." Another voice said

Yuri found himself checking the room number and name, a part of him hoping another name was written on the name card. He scolded himself a few seconds later for wishing something bad on someone else but really, he couldn't help himself. It was Victor who was getting that type of news. The Victor who won the Grand Prix finals 5 years in a row, breaking his own world record every year, the Victor who was supposed to make a comeback this year, the Victor he dreamed to skate on the same ice with in a competition, was being told that he may never make a full recovery, that he was doomed to retire right at the peak of his career.

"How long will this take? " Victor asked, sounding too uncharacteristically monotone.

"You'll be back in your room by early afternoon."

"I understand that. How long will I be here though? Stuck to all these things."

"We will decide after I see the results of the scans. There's still a lot we don't know about the extent of your injury. Worst case scenario, you may be here for weeks."

"We have to go to Tokyo in less than two weeks. Yuuri has national championships."

"Your recovery will for sure, take more than two weeks. How the treatment will go will be determined within the next few days. I understand you have a lot of questions right now but I won't be able to address most of them until I get the results. I have to check on my other patients now. I'll check up on you again later."

"I'm sorry for the trouble."

Yuuri recognize Yuuko's voice along with Victor's and the doctor's. _What was she doing there?_ He chose that moment to turn the knob of the door. He hesitated for a moment, letting go of the knob, only for the doctor to open it from the inside.

Yuuri immediately recognized the doctor as Yoshino-sensei, the doctor in charge of Victor's case.

"Yuuri, you look better than last night. You slept well?" The doctor asked. His concern seemed genuine but Yuuri still found himself giving a half hearted nod in return. His attention was too concentrated on Victor, he couldn't give any more than that.

Victor was leaning back on the bed. The nurses had set the upper part of the bed frame at a more comfortable angle helping Victor maintain a comfortable position with minimal effort.

"Yuuri?" Victors eyes widened as Yuuri entered the room. He didn't look happy to see his fiancé and student, he didn't look sad either. He looked like he just didn't consider Yuuri being there a possibility

Yuuri forced himself to brush off the annoyance that started to fester inside him.

"I wanted to see you as soon as visiting hours started. Yuuko-chan, why are you here so early?" Yuuri asked as he made himself comfortable on the chair by Victors bedside.

Yuuko who was sitting on the couch by the door, suddenly stood up. "Sorry I just needed to talk to Victor about the accident . Then Yoshino- sensei came in to discuss the diagnosis."

"Yeah I heard the last part. Why didn't you tell me though that you'd be here?"

"The Japan Nationals are in two weeks. I left you a training plan which you don't seem to be following." Victor said.

Yuuri felt the twinge of annoyance of a while ago suddenly transform into a pang of betrayal which took more effort to brush off. _Why was it Yuuko there? Why didn't Victor even bother to tell him that she'd be coming early? Why didn't Victor tell him to come at all?  
_  
His hands were close to shaking. "How do you expect me to act like nothing is happening when my coach is in the hospital? How do you did you expect me to react to this? Did you expect that I was just gonna blindly follow?" He only noticed he had raised his voice when he saw Victor flinch

"I didn't expect you to. I was just hoping you would realize that the national championships are in two weeks and there is no leeway for distractions."

"So you consider this a distraction?"

"Don't you want to make it to Worlds?"

"I wanted to make it because I wanted to skate on the same ice as you, compete with you as an equal. Then something like this happens. Why didn't you just let me fall? Why did you have to be stupid and catch me midair? Who does that?"

"You know as well as I do that if you fell, you would have broken your leg, your leg was stretched out awkwardly while doing your rotations." Victor answered calmly.

There was a stark contrast between both tones and Yuuri noticed, he lowered his head and with it, his voice. "I would've gotten injured, but not as bad as this." He gestured to the suspended leg in front of him.

"That injury though would have been severe enough for you to have to withdraw from Japanese nationals and possibly from the World Championships. I thought about it you know, as I ran to you, before I caught you midair." Victor took Yuuris hand that was frozen at the gesture of a moment ago. "When I caught you, I was expecting a sprain, even a bad one or maybe a hairline fracture. I was sure I'd be able to shake off those kinds of injuries by the Russian championships. I didn't expect this type of injury and I should have at the least considered it. You're not completely at fault. Let go of it already and focus on nationals. You won't be able to even place if you keep hovering this over your head like a dark cloud "

Yuuri had already gotten used to Victors inability to properly comfort and encourage people a long time ago but at that moment, he wanted to slap his coach and partner in the face. The leg injury stopped him from doing so. A part of him was scared he'd end up slapping Victor so hard he injures the leg more. He instead settled for pulling his hand away from Victors grip.

"Yuuri remember what you promised, you'd be a five time medalist at least."

"You promised you'd made a comeback."

"You know I would if I could." Victor briefly glanced at his injured leg before looking back at Yuuri. "I left you a training regimen. Please just follow it."

"Why?"

"I'll tell you when you're ready."

Yuuri wanted to probe Victor a little more. Even the 'why' never escaped his lips though as he watched Victor grab another paper from his desk and press it on his palm.

"Just do what I say. Go to the gym this afternoon and do these exercises. Get gold for me in the national championships."

Yuuri stared at Victor a little longer as he crumpled the paper in his hand. He was racking his mind for another possible argument. He thought of a lot of possible things to say, possible acts of rebellion. Victors word though was absolute. At that moment, the fact that Victor was tied down to the bed by metal embedded in his leg and IV drips in his arm meant nothing. From his position in the bed, Victor still radiated authority as a coach and Yuuri was left speechless. He wasn't talking to him as a lover, he was talking as a coach.

"Let's go." Yuuko took Yuuris hand. "I have my car. I'll take you for lunch then we go to the gym.

"Okay." Yuuri said mechanically. It had taken all his effort and energy not to burst and end up shouting or crying. He looked down, not wanting to show his face to Victor, in case tears suddenly well up in his eyes. That was when he remembered the two gold rings on his ring finger.

"Oh, by the way, you forgot this." He pulled the top ring off his finger and dropped it in front of Victor. He looked to his coach and fiancé one last time, narrowing his eyes at him before following Yuuko out.

"Wait."

Yuuri stopped at the doorway. It took all his willpower though not to look back at Victor.

"When you're done for the day, come back here okay. I wanna hear all about it."

Yuuri gave a light nod

"I really hope it's not as bad as they expect it to be. We need you out there." Yuuko added before pulling yuuri out into the hall way and closing the door.

She lead her old friend all the way until the elevators before she stopped and looked back. "It's obvious you're pissed with Victor. He means well you know."

 _It's not that._ Yuuri wanted to say but as he let it slip out, he stared to think. _What is really frustrating me about all this?_ He thought back to Victors training regimen, and how he repeated his orders again and again. Then after, he reminds Yuuri of the promise, 'the coaching fee'. As yuuri recalled those, his blood started to boil and from there, he started to understand his own feelings.

"You know, I'm not mad that he caught me and got injured instead." Yuuri explained as he pressed the down on the elevator. He silently waited for the door to open. He needed to compose himself before he continued. Yuuko didn't probe him. Maybe she understood what he was thinking or maybe her mind was elsewhere. Yuuri never found out though since his eyes were downcast the whole way down.

The elevator opened with a ding and Yuuri walked out. He shakily made his way to one of the chairs in the lobby and sat down. "What bothers me is he's not showing me anything. They just told him that he may never skate again. Why isn't he being hopeful? frustrated? depressed? Why isn't he showing any vulnerability or telling me to stay with him. I know he's supposed to be my coach but we were supposed to be partners. He's supposed to be able to show me how he feels about this."

"He wants you to focus on the national championships." Yuuko explained, her arm around Yuuri.

"Why were you there this morning? What did you and Victor talk about?"

"It's for Victor to tell you, not me. He said he'd tell you when you win gold in nationals."

"Let's go, we can get something to eat in the highway."

Yuuri nodded and followed Yuuko to the car. He sat on the passenger's seat and started playing with the lock on his phone. His lock screen was the commemorative photo he and Victor had taken after he won silver in the Grand Prix finals.

 _Gold in the National Championships._

If that's what Victor wants him to focus on, then he must have a good reason. Victor may be overly blunt and dramatic but his intuition on anything related to figure skating was rarely wrong.

 _Just trust him._

Yuuri repeated to himself again and again as he put his earphones on, turned on the music in his phone and lost himself to the characteristic strumming of Eros.

 **SURPRISES**

After the fight that morning, Yuuri had lunch with Yuuko in a rest stop on the highway. Yuuko had spent most of that time, telling him stories about her triplets and their attempts at skating. She was obviously trying to avoid the topic of Victor that Yuuri had ended up tuning her out half way through her stories. The more he tried to listen, the more he wanted to know what they were hiding from him.

Nationals was in less than two weeks. They said he'd find out after. He just had to contain his curiosity until then.

After lunch and a short rest, he spent the rest of the afternoon doing the list of exercises Victor gave him.

There were around twenty jump exercises including frog jumps, jump rope routines and bunny hops, every single one with 200 repetitions each. After finishing everything, Yuuri had ended up with the type of exhaustion where he had to make a conscious effort not to fall when he walked. He took a quick shower in the gym before making his way back to the hospital.

He ended up taking a taxi going there.

"You're crazy." Yuuri said as soon as he entered Victor's room.

"I'm guessing you did everything I told you to do." Victor's mouth was twisted into a smirk. He was obviously amused at how Yuuri was practically waddling. "I have a good reason for this trust me."

"You're not even telling me why I'm doing this."

"I'm doing this for your own good. You hungry?" Victor asked as he looked to the side.

Yuuri followed his eyes to see that he was pointing at a curry rice bento on a tray on the side table. "You didn't have lunch?"

"I ate the bread."

"You have to eat more than that."

"You think I'd actually get hungry by sitting around all day?"

Yuuri could sense bitterness in Victor's voice. One thing was for sure, he wasn't as nonchalant as he appeared. _Or at least tried to appear._ As Yuuri looked closely, he could see the way Victor's mouth twitched and his eyes narrowed closely resembled that of the time when he told Victor he was going to retire. The only difference then was that Victor was crying. At that moment in the hospital, he just seemed melancholy and more accepting of what happened. It was not like Victor though had any control over his own injury if compared to what he could do to prevent Yuuri's retirement. They were two different cases but the way Victor dealt with sadness in both situations was somehow the same.

Yuuri needed to find a way to cheer Victor up

"You know Makkachin was looking for you this morning."

"Just Makachin?" Victor's eye twinkled playfully as he looked to Yuuri.

The latter blushed. "Why are you changing the topic? Don't you miss your dog?"

Victor smiled dolefully. "I already asked this morning. No pets allowed." He shrugged. " I guess all I can do is recover faster so you guys won't miss me too much."

"Don't flatter yourself." Yuuri joked. He would have wanted to continue with the light conversation but he then, realized that there were other people who for sure, would have been missing Victor. "Does Yurio know about this? Yakov?"

Victor sighed. "I thought about it. If Yurio finds out, Yakov finds out. If he finds out, everyone finds out. Yakov is too loud and talkative for it _not_ to reach the media and I don't think I'm ready to speak publicly about this yet."

"I'm actually surprised it hasn't reached national television yet."

"Nurses and doctors have a code of conduct from what I remember. When I got injured before, the doctors couldn't tell even their family the details of my injuries."

"You got injured?" Yuuri looked back at the many competitions he had watched on television, trying to recall a time where Victor withdrew from a competition due to injury.

"A few times, they were just never severe enough to affect my performances. Yakov would still get mad every single time though. Actually, not mad, more of furious." Victor grimaced playfully as he recalled the events. "I wanted to land a triple axel in one of my programs when I was a kid. Yakov wouldn't let me change my double to a triple if I didn't land it perfectly in front of him. I practiced is it for an hours on end one day. I thought I was the only one in the rink then I heard Yakov shout 'Vitya! What are you doing! Go back home and rest!'. Long story short, I lost my concentration and ended up spraining my ankle. Though Yakov never apologized, it was obvious he felt bad. He was especially nice to me in training as soon as I got back."

"Did you do the triple axel?"

"After my injury, Yakov forbade me from doing it, saying it would aggravate my sprain." Victor sighed, looking downcast for a while before suddenly perking. "I still managed to land it though and won gold."

"You know, I actually didn't expect that last part. I thought you were at least obedient as a kid."

"Yakov is pretty stingy with technicalities, he calculates the scores of my opponents then my highest possible scores. Like if he's sure I'd win with just singles, he'd make me a program with all singles. If I followed all his programs perfectly, I probably still could have won everything but it wouldn't be as impactful as the programs I did perform. That's why I never really obeyed him. The next time I got injured was when I planned on secretly inserting two quads into my short program for the first time. I wanted to end my last junior division championships with a bang. I should also tell you about that time when I first learned my quadruple flip. Yakov thought I'd have to withdraw from the Grand Prix that one year…"

Yuuri wanted to tell Victor to slow down and at least organize the story That was the first time though, he had seen Victor that enthusiastic since the accident, he could not bear to destroy his momentum. He could always ask Victor to repeat the story in the future.

Before he knew it, he wasn't listening anymore. Instead, Yuuri was just watching as Victor changed facial expressions, mimicking what could have been Yakov, then Mila, then a narrow eyed person with a high pitched voice that must have been a young Yuuri. Victor's eyes never seemed to lose their twinkle as he continued to reminisce. He looked so happy.

Then suddenly it dawned on Yuuri that Victor won't be making any more fun memories and it was his fault.

 _I'm sorry._

Victor stopped and his eyes narrowed at him. It took Yuuri a few seconds to realize he had accidentally said what he was thinking.

"Yuuri, I told you, you won't be able to compete with that black cloud over your head." Victor said as he draw what looked like a ring over his head with his pointer finger for emphasis.

"You don't blame me it all for this?"

Victor silently stared at Yuuri for a few seconds like he was trying to read his thoughts just by looking at his face. He sighed. "Fine, if you wanna hear it, there _is_ one thing I blame you for."

Yuuri took a deep breath. _I knew it._ "Tell me, I'm ready." He forced himself to look Victor straight in the eyes even when his instincts were telling him to look down.

"You know, I'm sure if I got injured like this last year, I wouldn't have felt any sadness or regret. Maybe, I actually would have been happy to be forced to retire. After winning the world championships for the fifth time, I felt pressured to give another ground breaking performance the next year but I had no more ideas and no more inspiration. It's like the whole world was telling me to paint a rainbow but the only colors I had left were black and white." Victor looked down at his hands and twisted the ring on his finger. "And then the banquet and your video happened. We met and you made me feel so many feelings I never thought could be felt and experience so many things I never imagined before then. and with that, I realized that there were so many programs I haven't skated yet, feelings I haven't expressed through skating. You made 'me getting injured' and possibly having to quit competitive skating a painful and regretful thing. _That's_ the only thing I blame you for."

The feelings that welled up inside Yuuri after listening to Victor were too overwhelming for him to comprehend.

"Are you sad or happy?" Victor asked, looking confused. If he hadn't seen Victor's reaction, Yuuri probably would not have noticed that at that moment he was crying and smiling at the same time.

Yuuri would have wanted to answer Victor's question but his answer was too complex for a proper verbal answer, he decided to settle for action.

If Yuuri hugged Victor any harder after that, they probably would have had to call the nurse.

 **Wew, you made it this far. Anyway, do rec me some awesome fics and leave a review down there. Constructive criticism is also appreciated. Reviews in general haha**


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